Modern dating: is the only winning move not to play?

Summary: Radical feminism is bringing American society to a pre-revolutionary situation, as men realize the new system of gender relations does not work well for them. The next posts describe the mechanisms that will drive the revolt. We can only guess at what comes after that.

“That is a strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of Grand Theft Auto V?”
— Wisdom from the military’s supercomputer (WOPR, the War Operation Plan Response) in the film WarGames. Slightly tweeked.

Understanding the problem

We live in a post-revolutionary society. To see the scope of the changees, see this analysis by Dalrock, about the redefinition of chivalry: “Why Game is a threat to our values.” It was the behavior of warriors; now it the behavior of nice beta boys.

“Chivalry is also the way we reconcile the concepts of male and female virtue.  Our unstated assumption is that being chivalrous is sexy.  This is why Game is such a corrosive concept in our society.  Game teaches that chivalry is an attraction killer, and that women are instead attracted to a host of traits that are neutral at best. The problem we have is that young men now are able to see for themselves that Game works.  This is true even though most men are not able to master Game in practice.  The men who fail at seduction are able to observe the men who succeed, and it is painfully obvious that chivalry really is an attraction killer.  …

“The threat that Game poses is not that large groups of men will learn how to put it into effective practice (although many have and will).  The threat comes from its assault on young men’s belief that chivalry is sexy and therefore chivalry is virtuous.  Even worse, a young man doesn’t even have to ever hear the word “Game” or directly study its theories to be at risk of concluding that chivalry isn’t sexy.  This is a message that is slowly making its way through the culture.

“Game is so corrosive to our moral order because the normal methods to return to course only make the corrosion worse.  Lectures on the importance of chivalry will be met with ridicule, since chivalry is unsexy.  Lecturing men to be unsexy for the sake of virtue will likewise fail because our very definition of male virtue is sexiness.”

Also see his debunking of gender-neutral chivalry, and his description of how the concept of “chivalry” has been repeatedly repurposed since its Medieval origin: “Courtly Love: The origins of cuckchivalry.”

These radical change in our core aspects of gender relations have left young men adrift, without rules or models in their relations with women. They are also alone. Even many Christian conservatives advocate a feminist model of gender relations that exploits men. Dalrock has written scores of posts about this. I recommend starting with “Headship tomorrow and headship yesterday, but never headship today”

The revolution

Women began the revolution, dynamiting the old order. Now girls’ Game rules. See this about one form of girls’ Game (romance, party-of-her-life, marriage, kids, divorce, community property, child support, independence). For a more vivid and literary explanation, see the second half of “Stacy’s Credo.” Women are often explicit about the new order. See these words that drastically changed the American family.

As a result, our society’s dating and family systems no longer work well for young men. Previous posts explain why and how.

The gender wars continue as feminists move into the third phase of blitzkrieg. First they engaged their foe. Then they achieved a breakthrough. Now they are in pursuit of their broken foes, exploiting their advantageous position to gain more power and restructure society.

• See the campus rape epidemic, with its shifting definitions of “rape” and bogus research (here and here) — and kangaroo court justice (e.g., saved only by the explicit video replay).
• See the “MeToo” hysteria, with shifting definitions of “harassment” (see here and here) – and selective mob justice (the man is guilty unless he is Bill Clinton).

Responding to the revolution

Game (and MGTOW and Red Pill lifestyle are first stage reactions by men to the revolution. For example, how can men respond to an empowered woman? Some men use “Game.” Some men are “Game.” The wisest of men understand the futility of Game. As an illustration, see this scene from “The Prodigal Son” in Season 2 of “Miami Vice.” Don Johnson, as Detective James “Sonny” Crockett, shows a master-level response to girls’ Game employed by an aggressive young woman in their first meeting. He just refuses to play.

“I don’t like this game already.”

This vignette shows a man who has moved beyond “chivalry.” This is the essence of Game and Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW). This also shows the limits of Game and MGTOW. Crockett walks out into the night, alone. That’s not a path that will work for many men.

Conclusions

Game, etc., changes the behavior of some men, but that is a trivial effect. Despite the grand claims by some men, none of these early stage responses by men have had much effect on society, or even slowed the feminist revolution. But they force recognition by men that the current system no longer works for them. This insight is gradually spreading, irresistibly. Eventually it will bring our society to a pre-revolutionary condition. See Dalrock’s “What can’t continue, won’t.”

Then only two ingredients will be needed to create a massive counter-revolution, much like the two components of a binary explosive: groups of men standing together (pack formation) and the development of new values. Those are the subjects of the concluding posts in this series. We can only guess at what comes after that.

See the other posts in this series

1. 1. A return to traditional values.
   2. Men finding individual solutions.
   3. Part 1 – An expert discusses individual solutions.
   4. Part 2 – Discussing women’s responses to men’s solutions.
   5. Part 3 – An expert sees wonders ahead!
   6. Part 4 – An expert: respect is a key battleground in the gender wars.
   7. Part 5 – An expert’s insight: Game is toxic to feminism
   8. Part 6 – An expert describes the road to respect for men.

1. Modern dating: the only winning move is not to play.
2. A counter-revolution: packs of men.
3. A counter-revolution: new values.

Ideas! For shopping ideas, see my recommended books and films at Amazon.

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More insights from Dalrock

• Red pill observations are accurate but knowledge of the truth is dangerous. 
• Embarking on a lifetime of ugly feminism – about being bossy!
• Remaking the princess, evicting the prince.
• Confusing make-believe with reality; why feminists obsess over Barbie.

Books about the new era of gender relations

Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters by psychologist Helen Smith (2013).

The Privileged Sex by Martin van Creveld. You will never see women’s role in society in the conventional way after reading this, by one of our era’s greatest historians.