Summary: Feminists are quite open about the new American they are building. As seen in this article. It’s a nation of weak men. They’re succeeding.
“It will require cultural trauma to derail the current fugue of insanity.”
— James Howard Kunstler, novelist and social critic. See Wikipedia and his website. Private communication, posted with his permission.
Dalrock is one of the most perceptive analysts of the gender wars that I have found. We have been discussing the often baffling dynamics of this, perhaps the most important conflict of our time. Here is an edited transcript of one such conversation. We are cross-posting it.
Fourth wave feminism is women seeking superiority over men {details here}. Take a feminist’s speech and reverse the genders. If sounds sexist, then she is in the fourth wave. They are often quite open about it. Here’s a fun example, showing how far the idea has spread. The author understands the unpleasant message she gives men, so she makes clear statements about the Matriarchy along with assurances that it won’t be a matriarchy.
“How To Prepare Our Sons for the Matriarchy” by Jenny Hoople at The Good Men Project.
“We must not leave our boys behind even as we raise up our girls.”
“The Matriarchy doesn’t mean women over men, it means strong women leading all of us in rebuilding a society …”
The accompanying photo (above) captures the nature of the article quite well. This is their Matriarchy: an aggressive girl and a sad subordinate boy.
Dalrock: That pic really does say it all. On the other side we have conservatives responding that weak men are screwing feminism up.
The “cuckservatives” are part of the problem. It is more accurate to say that weak men are screwing up society. I’ve wanted to write about this, but it’s too complex and I don’t understand it sufficiently. Here is how I see it, as best I can.
Great societies work hard to produce strong boys that become useful men (unlike feral men, who are strong but destructive). Instead modern America produces hordes of weak men. Withdrawal from dating and marriage is a natural response of weak men.
How did this happen? Disasters (excluding natural disasters) usually result from multiple and reinforcing errors. Feminists produce weak sons. Dads subservient or acquiescing to their feminist wives produce weak sons. Families too busy to raise sons, especially with few larger institutions doing so, produce weak sons. Single mothers produce weak sons. Feminist-dominated institutions – such as our schools, churches and youth groups – produce weak boys. Institutions that train boys to be strong, such as Boy Scouts and male-only sports programs, are under attack.
Worse, we’ve stopped raising girls. So they grow in accord with their core programming. What we thought was their natural state was in fact the result of intense indoctrination (e.g. pronatalism). So we get, as often seen in music videos, somewhat feral girls. Like feral men, they are disruptive to society. The combination is potentially lethal.
Dalrock: Right. The problem is not the observation, but the frame. The observation is accurate. The problem is the implicit desire to change men so that feminism will finally work. It can’t be done, and conservatives shouldn’t be trying to make feminism work anyway.
Like so much of your work, that’s a brutal but accurate observation. Obvious, once you point it out to us. It’s a sign of the ultimate victory when your opponents adopt your goals. It’s a commonplace in history.
It is imperative, imo, that we break the debate out of the current two channels: despair (Aquinas: “To commit a crime is to kill the soul, but to despair is to fall into hell.”) and MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way – fantasies of being Tarzan: Me strong & self-sufficient, live in jungle alone with my animal friends).
Dalrock: I’m in general agreement I think, but MGTOW men aren’t the problem, they are a logical reaction to the problem. I made an analogy a number of years ago regarding seats at a restaurant that ended up taking a life of its own. In a nutshell, I wish the MGTOW men well, and hope they have fulfilling lives. My focus isn’t on trying to convince them to come dine in the restaurant (marriage), but to find a way to make more seats available for them to do so.
Now we’re getting to the core of the situation. Under your prodding, this is becoming a bit clearer to me. You said that “MGTOW men aren’t the problem.” I fully agree, looking at this on an individual level. More broadly, men bailing on the current system will be (guessing) a major force blowing it down. But – again guessing – I think most are kidding themselves. I’ve seen a lot of this, by age 63, and imo GAME and MGTOW are the equivalent of Fantasy Football for most men. They can be played but not won in real life.
But young women aren’t the problem, either (neither side has much empathy for or understanding of the other – which is part of the problem). They’re doing as they have been told, acting on the values the Boomers and Gen X taught them. They are like young women playing at being Wonder Women (vainly seeking to have it all).
Both young men and women are on courses that will end badly for many of them. Their damaged lives are pushing the system to its destruction. But not, as often described, as collateral damage. More like involuntary sacrifices. I can’t think of the right metaphor for them.
That’s why I refer to this current debate – 4th wave feminism vs. GAME/MGTOW – as a doomed fight from which we must break free from. This is a common situation in history, in which societies fall into conflicts in which there can be no winners. But men can help put America on a better path. Expect a surprise end to the gender wars when men stand together.
Afterward: follow the discussion in the comments to this post at Dalrock’s website. They are intense and reveal much about the gender wars.
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About Dalrock
He is a married man living with his wife and two kids in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. He is very interested in how the post feminist world impacts himself and his family, and uses his blog to explore these issues. See his website. Especially these posts about the gender wars.
- More ominous than a strike – moving to a post-marriage society.
- How to close the gender pay gap once and for all – the one true path to a feminist America.
- The mysterious male marriage premium – the secret engine to the American economy.
- Incentives matter – how divorce is wrecking families and society.
For More Information
For fun see this post by Dalrock for more about the strong women and emasculated men writing at The Good Men Project: He almost had a masculine thought.
Ideas! For shopping ideas, see my recommended books and films at Amazon.
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- Men find individual solutions.
- Modern dating: is the only winning move not to play?
- An easy fix to make marriages stronger and work better.
- Men standing together can end the gender wars.
Books rich with insights about modern women
Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger
Why Women Should Rule the World
