Summary: Feminism is the big revolution of our time, over-turning our ideals of romance and marriage. The TV show “Castle” is a mirror in which we can see 21st century America, especially the relations between men and women. Today we look at the dark side of marriage masked by the light comedy of the Beckett-Castle romance, and what it reveals about our future. It’s one of the most shocking (& darkest) posts of the 3,900 on the FM website. Post your reactions in the comments.
Contents
- TV helps us see ourselves.
- Beckett’s boyfriends.
- Why she choose Castle.
- Life imitates fiction.
- About the revolution.
- Other posts about “Castle”.
- For More Information.
- Beckett lassos her man.
(1) Stories help us see ourselves
“People need stories, more than bread, itself. They teach us how to live, and why. …Stories show us how to win.”
— The Master Storyteller in the BBC’s “Arabian Nights“.
We watch dramas not just for entertainment, but to see our society from different perspectives, and so better understand our lives and those around us. The characters are fiction, but the situations and emotions are those of our moment in time and space. With the rapid change in gender roles during the past several generations — now accelerating — the ability of film and TV to show us different paths becomes especially valuable.
The TV show “Castle” does this well. As described in the previous chapter of this series, here we see a world in which the war of the sexes has begun to swing in women’s favor (e.g., women’s superior performance in grade school, college, and graduate programs) — and the traditional gender roles begin to invert. Kate Beckett shows one way for women to adapt their relationships to this new world. We’ll look at what the show-runners plausibly provide as her boyfriends, speculate why she choose Castle as her husband, and conclude with a real-life illustration of these dynamics.
(2) Beckett’s boyfriends
Beckett dated several alphas before marrying Castle.
Josh Davidson
Dr. Davidson, Beckett’s boyfriend in season 3, has it all. He’s a cardiac surgeon. He rides a motorcycle. He travels to Third World nations, providing free surgical care. See his series bio. In S04E04 he saves her life after she was shot in the heart.
We never learn how Dr. Davidson’s relationship with Beckett ended. In season 5 we learn he went to the Amazon to build free clinics. As an alpha, he expects Beckett to follow him or get left behind. It would take him a few days (max) to find a new girlfriend. Beckett would dream of him during her marriage to a rich nice-guy family man beta (like Castle).
Will Sorenson
Sorenson is an FBI Special Agent, he was Beckett’s boyfriend in season 1. See his series bio. As the lead agent on kidnappings, he probably has a hot hand at the FBI. He was Beckett’s boyfriend sometime in the past, before she meets Castle.
He’s another alpha. Like Davidson, he expected Beckett to follow him when the FBI rotated him to a new city. That’s not something he will compromise on, and so they went their separate ways before the series begins — and again in season one. It might take him a month to get a new girlfriend.
Tom Demming
Demming is a NYPD detective working robberies (series bio). He was Beckett’s boyfriend in season 2. She dumps him in the season finale, explaining that “was not what she was looking for.”
As a New York City cop, TV tropes require that Demming be an alpha. And so he is, with a softer side (much like Ryan and Esposito).
(3) Why Beckett choose Castle
We can easily imagine why Beckett married Castle. As an attractive, intelligent, strong-willed, aggressive, and high-spirited women, she it’s no surprise she has four good choices to choose from. Davidson has a good income, charisma, and good looks. He’s the alpha of the group. But he might not marry her.
Sorenson and Demming are good-looking, stable nice guys with good careers. They will make nice family men. And then there is Castle. …
Castle is over-weight (unlike his action-adventure physique in season one) and 7 years older than Beckett. He’s often submissive to her (and to his mother and daughter), and has become more beta with each passing year (decaying from season one, reprising his role as the alpha on “Firefly”). On the other hand, he’s proven himself a good father and devoted to her. Plus he’s rich and well-connected. Beckett hears her biological clock ticking, and sees Castle as a logical choice. I suspect at night she’ll dream of Davidson.
(4) Life imitates fiction:
…..A note from a woman about real men
“Stories are less simple than we think they are.”
— Scheherezade in the BBC’s “Arabian Nights“.
Beckett is fiction, but shows us what modern women are like, as seen in this autobiographical essay by Jill Rothenberg: “Falling for a Hells Angel” posted at Narratively (“Human stories, courageously told”). If you have much experience with these kind of girls, you’ll be able to read the start and write the rest of it as if you had precognition. My notes follows the except.
“When a mild-mannered book editor with a sheltered background breaks into a world of outlaw bikers, the excitement is alluring, but the violence is never far behind.”
“…The last time I had seen {Angela} was for breakfast at Ole’s, an old-time pancake house on Alameda’s main street, the East San Francisco Bay city where I lived. I had met her there with her boyfriend, Pancho, who was over 30 years older — a huge and imposing man {age: 65} of over 300 pounds, with long black hair and a mustache, dressed in the largest flannel shirt and jeans I had ever seen, the scowl on his face making me feel like he was not happy — with the restaurant, the food, me — or Angela, who, at 33, could have passed for his much-younger daughter.
“It was the first time I met Pancho, though Angela had talked about him since the day I first met her months earlier, at my 40th birthday party. Pancho clearly had no patience for Angela’s chattering. “Hey Pancho, Jill lives just a few blocks away from here in this cute little apartment,” she said. “Did you know she learned to play tennis when she was little, like eight or something? Isn’t that right?” she asked me. “That’s why she’s so good! Hey, we should try to play this weekend.”
“‘Can you just shut up?’ Pancho asked loudly, interrupting Angela mid-sentence. It was more like a snarl, teeth bared. So we sat in awkward silence, looking down at the table full of eggs, pancakes and coffee cups.
“…I loved my job at a publishing house in Berkeley, but over the past year my life had taken a very different turn. I met Angela as well as John, a man I dated and then remained friends with. My nights were no longer filled only with workouts, after-work cocktails and editing manuscripts. Together, we hung out at dark bars filled with biker dudes and black leather. I began to crave the balance this new place brought to my life. I welcomed the sheer slice of the wind that hit my face on the back of a motorcycle as I pressed my helmeted head against John’s back as we rode across the Bay Bridge at one a.m. The lights of Oakland were like a city of brilliantly colorful beads in the distance, the air cold and wet, the speed making everything pulse with life.
“This world felt like an alarm clock jolting me awake to a life that had been invisible to me, one that was lived out in color and on the edge.
“… It was an overdose of so much testosterone in one place, which after spending a work week among women, felt bracing, a slap of another reality. My senses came to life, away from the dull glare of the computer screen and the muddle of words and worries in my head. It was the same feeling I got from running a hard trail in bad weather, or putting on a headlamp to navigate steep trails at night in the Oakland Hills with an ultra runner I trained with. It was the edge, and I liked it there.
“… I could feel the adrenaline pumping like at the start line of a race. … I could never understand how a man like Pancho and other members of the club could have these two opposing sides: the explosive anger and fear for which they’re known, and the rational, intelligent and often genuinely friendly faces they wear just as comfortably. All I knew was that it was compelling, and that the undertone, the buzz of something about to blow, even in a friendly conversation, drew me in, as it did many women.
“… As much of a thrill as it was, it felt like I was on overload.”
See more of Jill Rothenberg’s writing at her website, or follow her on Twitter @JillRothenberg.
You know how this plays out. Rothenberg meets sexist bad boys, who treat her like dirt. She loves them (she only hints at the nice boys who she lets buy her dinners and shows, and whom she treats like pets). Eventually she leaves the fast life and the story ends. If she marries a nice beta (aka settling), she’ll dream at night of her biker lover. It’s worth reading in full. It’s an extreme version of a commonplace story of our time. Too bad that most of us cannot be alphas — or their faux version of bad boy bikers.
(5) About the revolution
Feminism is a revolution, one with few or no precedents in history, now in the last stages of consolidating its victory. We can only guess at the effects. This post discusses one facet. I expect (guess) that as guys understand the new order, many will refuse to play. They’ll become insurgents — outlaws — from their designated role as beta males — expected to dutifully ask permission at each step of the romantic escalation (see “Feminism for Bros“), marrying a women at the end of her youth after she’s chased alphas (of whom she’ll dream), and dutifully supporting a family until and after your wife divorces you (40-50% of first marriages; higher for subsequent ones; most initiated by the wife).
Once men see the game, why would they play? An insurgency might begin, perhaps leading to a new revolution (or a counter-revolution).
It’s already begun. Like most revolutions, it begins covertly. Especially this one, so transgressive of our cultural rules. You see its insurgents’ trail when women complain about the “Peter Pan syndrome” (men refusing to marry). You see it in the rise of “game” — “pick-up artists” who mimic the traits women use to identify alphas, and manipulate women’s typical behavior patters (e.g., “dark triad” traits; see details here. If you look carefully, you’ll see both behaviors spreading like viruses through our culture; it’s Darwinian.
Don’t expect to see clear analysis of the insurgency by journalists or Hollywood. They’re romantic only in distant lands, but too threatening to touch when at home — except in condemnation (Marxism gets more positive coverage).
I have no idea what shape this new world will take. My generation, the boomers, built this world but don’t have to live in it. Those exploring it (such as this guy) tell us of monsters. Fortunately, neither our hopes or fears provide accurate guides to the future. I am confident our future will differ from anything in human history.
(6) Posts in this series about “Castle”
Castle gives us a mirror in which we can see ourselves, skillfully constructed by the best producers, actors, and technicians in Hollywood.
- Spoilers for “Castle”: explaining the finale & season 7. It’s a metaphor for America.
- What the TV show “Castle” teaches us about America, and ourselves, — About our myths.
- The TV show “Castle” challenges us to see our changing values. Most fans decline, horrified.
- “Castle” shows us marriage in America, a fault line between our past & future.
- “Castle” shows us a dark vision of Romance in America.
- Richard Castle shows us the dark reality of justice in 21st C America.
- The bitter fruits of our alienation from America — more lessons from “Castle”.
- “Castle” helps us adjust to a new America, with women on top.
(7) For More Information about women
If you liked this post, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. See all posts about Women and Gender, especially these about women’s changing role in our society…
- The feminist revolutionaries have won. Insurgents have arisen to challenge the new order. As always, they’re outlaws.
- The war of the sexes heats up: society changes as men learn the Dark Triad.
- Women are moving on top of men in America.
- The Economist proclaims that men are “The Weaker Sex”.
- A look ahead at the New America, after the gender wars.
- Love in the new world, after the gender wars.
- Taylor Swift shows us love in the 21st century.
- Men are “going Galt”. Marriage is dying. Will society survive?
- Women have won the gender revolution.
(8) Beckett lassos her beta
