Marriage dying. Less sex. More loneliness. Society dying.

Summary: The results of fourth wave feminism begin to appear. Marriage is dying, people are living isolated lonely lives. The stress on America society will be immense as these trends continue.

“The sexual revolution, however, wanted men and women to get together bodily, while feminism wanted them to be able easily to get along separately.”
— Allan Bloom in Closing of the American Mind (1987). Feminism won.

Woman repelling sexual harassment

Less sex in the new age

Three waves of feminism have restructured gender relations in the US, with changes whose effects yet to be seen. Especially fourth wave feminism, women’s pursuit of dominance over men. Marriage rates are falling for all ages. Cohabitation rates have risen, but not enough to offset the decline. Since most sex occurs in these relationships, people are having less sex. See the data. Such as this graphic from “Trends in the Prevalence of Sexual Behaviors: 1991-2017” by the CDC (click to enlarge.)

CDC: 2017 sexual trend

It is not just teens. For more of the same, but more disturbing, see “Trends and Patterns of Sexual Behaviors Among Adolescents and Adults Aged 14 to 59 Years, United States” by Gui Liu et al. in Sexually Transmitted Diseases, January 2015  “The sexual behavior trends shown in our analyses are similar to those found in other high-income countries such as the United Kingdom, France, and Sweden.”

Journalists see the story, but don’t understand

A decline in marriage rates and decrease in sexual activity sounds like big news. It is not, at least to American journalists. But some women have reported it, albeit with a feminist spins.

  • Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex?” by Kate Julian in The Atlantic, December 2018 – “Despite the easing of taboos and the rise of hookup apps, Americans are in the midst of a sex recession.”
  • Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?” by Jean Twenge in The Atlantic, September 2017 – “More comfortable online than out partying, post-Millennials are safer, physically, than adolescents have ever been. But they’re on the brink of a mental-health crisis.”

The writers and most of the researchers are women. Men avoid this hot zone, which offers the potential for career death by saying something deemed sexist. The women writers speak of “people” and “teens”, but they quote almost exclusively women – and discuss (with exceptions) only women’s perspectives.

This blinkered viewpoint goes further. The women, of course, don’t consider that these trends might be caused by changes in women’s behavior. For example, the number of close relationships between men and women might have declined due to a combination of obesity, careerism (women out of the dating game), and unleashed hypergamy for the remnant who are in the game (as they seek only the top 10% or 20% of men.

Buried deep in Julian’s article, an admission by women about one reason there are fewer relationships.

“I mentioned to several of the people I interviewed for this piece that I’d met my husband in an elevator, in 2001. …I was fascinated by the extent to which this prompted other women to sigh and say that they’d just love to meet someone that way. And yet quite a few of them suggested that if a random guy started talking to them in an elevator, they would be weirded out. ‘Creeper! Get away from me,’ one woman imagined thinking. ‘Anytime we’re in silence, we look at our phones,” explained her friend, nodding.'”

This did not arouse any suspicion in Julian that changes in women’s behavior might explain much of the data she reports.

Why so many people are alone

Surveys, such as this by YouGov, show that large numbers of women consider normal introductory behavior to be sexual harassment. Twenty-eight percent of young women (age 18 to 24) consider paying her a complement to be harassment; twenty-eight percent consider winking at her to be harassment. Forty-eight consider placing your hand on a woman’s lower back to be harassment. Young men deal with young women, aware that a large fraction are primed to see them as predators.

Men that show an interest in young women are often told by women that this is “pervy”, although marriages with the husband 7 to 10 years older than the wife was once commonplace. Men physically attracted by girls in the late teens – post-pubescent girls with their physical sexual cues at peak levels – are called often called “perverts.” These are all common tropes in films and TV shows, the stage on which we see the great and wise of Hollywood instruct us on proper behavior. For example, on NCIS Los Angeles Kensi often describes Deeks as a pervert for looking at or chasing women.

Now the #meToo movement is further broadening the definition of harassment, narrowing the range of acceptable approaches by men to women (sometimes requiring telepathy, since men must know in advance how women will respond). MeToo allows women to re-categorize relationships weeks, months, or even years later.  Often in strange ways, such accusations by co-eds that a guy “forced” her to drink too much in a restaurant. Girls’ agency comes and goes, as needed by her.

Unlike communism, this experiment will work. Trust us!

Mad Scientist at work
ID 99011265 © Igor Mojzes | Dreamstime.

Conclusions

We are like monkeys in the control room of a nuclear power plant, spinning the dials. We are confident that no testing or experimentation is required. Fourth wave feminism is a movement to make normal behavior into misbehavior, alienating us from our natures. It will inflect damage to society on a scale we cannot imagine today. The shift to a post-marriage – even post-relationship society – has just begun.

Bet on a lot more loneliness in America, as fewer people bond together. Since the family is the primary tie of people to society, bet a much more alienation. Since the family motivates men to work hard, expect more dropouts (the “missing men” in the job stats). Since relationships and family provide meaning to many people’s live, bet on much more use of drugs – and more deaths from drug overdoses.

We are drifting thoughtlessly to a dark future for America. But we can still change.

“It leads to the World made by Hand,
Institutions shattered, but delusions too.
Then the re-build, based on reality not wishes.”

— James Howard Kunstler, novelist and social critic. See Wikipedia and his website. Private communication, posted with his permission.

For More Information

Ideas! For shopping ideas, see my recommended books and films at Amazon.

If you liked this post, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. See all posts about society and gender issuesabout feminismabout marriage, and especially these …

  1. The revolution in gender roles reshapes society in ways too disturbing to see— Allan Bloom on relationships.
  2. Cheap Sex is the Inconvenient Truth in the end of marriage.
  3. Second thoughts about romance in the #MeToo age.
  4. Misadventures of a young woman in modern America.
  5. A historian’s disturbing news about the feminist revolution – Notes from the future.
  6. The coming crash as men and women go their own way.
  7. America’s men and women, alienated from our true selves.
  8. The rising number of celibate men: it’s an alarm.
  9. The coming crash of marriage: why, and what’s next.

Books to help us understand the revolution

The War on Sex by David M. Halperin and Trevor Hoppe (2017).

A look at men’s response to the feminist reforms of marriage: Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters by Dr. Helen Smith (2013).

War on Sex
Available at Amazon.
Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream - and Why It Matters
Available at Amazon.

22 thoughts on “Marriage dying. Less sex. More loneliness. Society dying.

  1. Woah. Maybe the 60’s sexual revolution wasn’t a good thing. A bit more chastity might not be the disaster being portrayed, on average. Marriage and wholesomeness is making a comeback. The new superheroes of the west will be wholesome. Maybe kids understand the utility of chastity better than their hippy parents.

    1. Powder Burns,

      “A bit more chastity might not be the disaster”

      As these articles point out, most sex takes place in established relationships – marriage and cohabitation. The decline of sex indicates these bonding mechanisms are decaying quite fast, as such things go.

    1. info,

      Wow. This guy is behind the curve. It sounds like he is talking about the Gitchy Gitchy tribe in the New Guinea mountains.

      The top definition for THOT at Urban Dictionary isn’t that elaborate mess he quoted. It is: “What guys call girls in schools that send out nudes and porn of themselves. An acronym for That Ho Over There.” Simple, focused, clear.

      The campaign to report girls to the IRS for income from social media began and went viral at The THOT Patrol page on Facebook. Here is a compilation of screenshots about the resulting conflict of red-pilled men having fun and pissed-off THOTs.

    2. Follow-up – correction.

      The campaign to report THOTs to the IRS began on the Facebook page of David Wu. See it here.

      Feminists have made misogyny trendy. The problem with picking fights with men: many men enjoy fighting (on all levels).

    3. Another follow-up.

      It is easy to mock the young men on these alt-right social media forums. That is missing their significance. This is early stage phenomenon. Revolutions are preceded by young men throwing food and rocks at police. Apolitical and inchoate energy. But they are the fodder from which powerful movements are built. Roman legions, Washington’s soldiers, Hitler’s SA.

      They have spirit, but no pride or meaning. The first is the rare element. Providing the latter is easy.

      This is our promise and peril. Much depends on who steps forward to organize them. This is pure Nietzsche. What kind of leader emerges from the depths of our national soul will determine who we become, but is a manifestation of who we are.

  2. In my life I’ve been told the civilization will end because of: nuke war, terrorism, peak oil, HIV, climate change, financial /debt, immigration, asteroid, etc.

    No one predicted that it would be men and women not having sex. It will be an interesting next 20 years.

    1. JPW,

      “Children of Men” predicted exactly that.”

      The future described in Children of Men: in 1994, the sperm count of human males plummeted to zero. Neither the book or the film explained the cause.

      This shows the fashion in doomsterism. In the 1970s, doomster stories were about overpopulation. Now they are about underpopulation. All nonsense, entertainment. Got to give the proles something to chatter about, so they feel relevant while the 1% rule.

    2. JPW,

      You’re really into this doomster nonsense. Fertility rates are falling since the world’s population is far above sustainable levels. That’s a good thing.

      Doomsters create nonsense by extrapolating trends to the sky. That seldom happens in the real world.

  3. “What examples are there of the peasants successfully rising up against their rulers? Such as a successful populist revolt? There were none in the late 1930s, at least in the major nations. Nationalism is a way of channeling popular unrest into channels that are safe for their rulers.”

    There is the sexually frustrated young people, failing wages, competition in the market place from new immigrants who coming from poorer backgrounds and without social networks, generally put everything into their work/career, with Alt Right solutions. These are the cannon fodder on one side, and leftie, casually employed, anti-capitalism Antifa the other.

    Of course it is unlikely to play out in the same way as WW2, there are 5 Kondrateiv waves to look at, for hints and of course the Rulers or rich will hijack the revolt. Who knows if it is true that Soros funds Antifa, and Israel Tommy Robinson. There are popular tensions everywhere, and wacky blogs of all types.

    I teach some international students and often get interesting information from them; in one discussion with three male Arab students, all modern in outlook, desperate to get out to Australia, married and rich, they said a lot of the tensions are due to inflation and stagnant wages, as young men (and there is a demographic bulge) cannot date girls pre-marriage or even socialise with them without the girl’s parents permission and it is never given without a good job and prospects. Their only real way for most to have sex is marriage, but without good jobs, they can’t get a wife. This makes them or least some of them cannon fodder for another dynamic .

    If 2020 is likely to see interest rates start to rise to levels that effect consumption in a serious way, then this will be the real beginning of the control of these youths or tensions to achieve power groups ends (whoever and whatever they are, as they are yet to be fully determined). So far we can see right, left and religious factions in play.

    1. Just a Guy,

      I too worry – and have written – about the potential threat of our alienated youth. But that is unlikely to be a successful peasants rebellion, young men throwing food and rocks at police. Peasants’ protest fail because they are apolitical and inchoate energy. But such youth are the fodder from which powerful movements are built. Roman legions, Washington’s soldiers, Hitlet’s SA.

      They have spirit, but no pride or meaning. The first is the rare element. Providing the latter is easy.

      This is our promise and peril. Much depends on who steps forward to organize them. This is pure Nietzsche. What kind of leader emerges from the depths of our national soul will determine who we become, but is a manifestation of who we are.

  4. Excellent reply, I agree fully. Who leads and where will determine our future.

    I watched Q&A a political talk show last night with various Ministers asked questions, their was a clear set of two groups in the young, pro immigration, anti big business, pro renewable energy versus a slow down in immigration, coal and nuclear still an option and pro big business. It was obvious they are being backed in corners that are really progressive versus conservative, but so far from he centre.

    It was also obvious green energy and pro immigration are being tied together by the left, along with gender identity,
    it was interesting to see how quickly Australia is following in the path you have written about in America..

    I, too have feared for sometime, the level of animosity that is growing. Young vs young and young vs old, plus of course men against women.

    1. Just a Guy,

      Our high rate of social and tech evolution put massive pressures on society. Naturally society fractures along the fault lines. Only our cohesion keeps us together as a functional group. If that goes, chaos will be unleashed.

      Now for the bad news: it is in the interest of special interest groups to blast apart our cohesion. The worse, the better for them – since they see themselves as leading the fragments. They assume that they can blast the foundation, but the structures on top will continue to operate and give them a nice life.

      When I was in Boston in 1980, local Mafia were convicted of running a hazardous waste service in which they poured the waste into the sewers. That their families lived in the area affected didn’t occur to them. This is how groups operate in the absence of strong central government and high cohesion among the people.

      Trust also erodes away. That has even more serious consequences, to be discussed on another day.

  5. Correction: women are having just as much sex as ever, if not more. They are just having it with only a handful of “alpha males” (“riding the carousel”, as it is known), while the rest of guys have to do without. Certainly this is an unstable condition, exacerbated as pointed out, by the criminalization of the EFFORT to get laid. Not a recipe for social cohesiveness.

    1. Pompetus,

      Thanks for catching that. The only data in those articles is about young people. The articles make assertions, but cite no specific studies about sex by women at older ages. All I see is this:

      “Median age at sexual initiation was 17.9 years (interquartile range for females born in 1940 to 1949 and decreased to 16.2 years among those born in 1980 to 1989.”

  6. Haven’t had sex in many, many years. Not interested in sex whatsoever. Don’t miss sex one bit. Not lonely at all. No desire for relationships with women (and by default their state pimp). My life is predictable, happy, contented and filled with peace. There’s no chaos because there are no women. Ecstatic that no women have legal or financial power in or over my life. Sex, false accusations, marriage and divorce have been women’s primary weapon against men for a long, long time. Once you realize this, the desire for sex declines significantly. Once you realize this, relationships with women become a liability and nonstarter. I’d much rather die alone than die a broken perpetual financial and legal victim of women and their state lover. Relationships with women are way, way overrated.

    1. Mann,

      “Sex, false accusations, marriage and divorce have been women’s primary weapon against men for a long, long time.”

      It’s quite bizarre to group those things together. That’s exactly the kind of demonization that radical feminists use against men. On the other hand, that factionalization makes it easy for our elites to rule us.

      “Once you realize this, the desire for sex declines significantly.”

      I very much doubt that such intellectual things have any effect on desire for sex. Rather, it naturally varies among people. Man is a rationalizing animal.

    2. To paraphrase: You may not be interested in feminism, but feminism is interested in you.

      I’m glad you have come to terms with being an incel, but you have to understand that this is exactly what the feminists want: a “reserve army” of frustrated men who can be controlled by female sexual power (at least among younger women) and legal threats (by older women once they hit “the wall”). During my incel days (at this was 25 years ago) I was accused by a cunt at work of sexual harassment. She had been with the company for all of seven months at the time, while I had been there eight years. Her claim was not that I had done anything overt or even touched her, but only that she was “uncomfortable” in my presence, even though we worked in different departments but on the same floor. For that I came this close to getting fired.

      Sooner or later there will be a violent solution to these situations. I would hate to be the bitch on the receiving end.

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