Summary: America’s top singers prepare their fans for life without romance. For a feminist world of loneliness spun as liberation. But the songs are great and thrilling! See tomorrow’s follow-up post: Less sex for young men points to a new world.
The bolts are popping out of American society, as the machinery that ties us together disintegrates. Marriage evolves into shacking up (more fragile, worse for the kids). Dating evolves into hook-ups. But even those crude and dysfunctional relationships are too difficult for America to maintain. The hot new trends are men-going-their-own-way and women setting courses that will keep them alone for most of their lives (more about this tomorrow).
Art is a mirror of our soul, and a tool we use to help us navigate through life. Pop music shows how women prepare for the crash, deciding that the lemons of their lives will be lemonade.
Before we look at 21st century romance, let’s look at what it once was. Ignore ideology and value judgments. Consider just utility – the value of marriage and human happiness. Compare then and now, which system worked better?
“Being in love” sung by Shirley Jones.
From The Music Man
“And I would like him to be more interested in me
Than he’s in himself and more interested in us than in me …
Him I could love ’til I die!
Being in love – what a lovely dream!
And yet, somehow
Being in love’s only half of what I’m longing for now
And so then
Tonight I’ll be in there dreaming
And hoping that someday there’ll be
Just once!
Somebody being in love with me.”
Flash forward to our New America
Pop stars are employing their great talents to preparing young women for the fruits of fourth generation feminism ( the search for dominance over men, not equality with them). “Love” means being strong, not vulnerable. “Love” means having your own way, with no hint of compromise. “Love” means “me first.”
To appreciate the message in these songs, apply a test used by second generation feminists: in your minds, reverse the gender – then evaluate the message. They give a different impression!
How will life work out for the fans of these stars? Time will tell. I’ll bet on “not well.”
“The Greatest Love of All” by Whitney Houston (1985).
Released in 1985. Since 2010, 128 million views on YouTube. Perhaps she was a role model on the screen, if not in real life. Full lyrics here.
“Everybody’s searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me
“I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I’ll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can’t take away my dignity
“Because the greatest love of all is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all inside of me
“The greatest love of all is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all ….”
“Worth It” by Fifth Harmony (2015).
This has had 1.7 billion views on YouTube. Full lyrics here.
“Give it to me, I’m worth it
Baby, I’m worth it
Uh huh I’m worth it
Gimme gimme I’m worth it
Give it to me, I’m worth it
Baby, I’m worth it
Uh huh I’m worth it
Gimme gimme I’m worth it …
Just gimme you, that’s all I wanna do
And if what they say is true
If it’s true, I might give me to you …
Come harder just because
I don’t like it, like it too soft
I like it a little rough
Not too much, but maybe just enough ….”
Guys should calibrate that “rough” nicely, or you’ll be in trouble.
“Thank you, next” by Ariana Grande (2018).
Ari sings about her four great love affairs (she is 25 years old). At the end we learn she has at last found someone worthy of her. 346 million views on YouTube. Full lyrics here.
“I ain’t worried ’bout nothin’
Plus, I met someone else
We havin’ better discussions
I know they say I move on too fast
But this one gon’ last
‘Cause her name is Ari
And I’m so good with that.
She taught me love
She taught me patience
How she handles pain
That shit’s amazing. Yeah, she’s amazing
I’ve loved and I’ve lost.
But that’s not what I see
‘Cause look what I’ve found
Ain’t no need for searching, and for that, I say
Thank you, next ….”
“Love Myself” by Hailee Steinfeld (2015).
250 million views on YouTube. Full lyrics here.
“When I get chills at night
I feel it deep inside without you, yeah
Know how to satisfy
Keeping that tempo right without you, yeah …
I’m gonna touch the pain away
I know how to scream my own name
Gonna love myself, no, I don’t need anybody else
I’ll take it nice and slow
Feeling good on my own without you, yeah ….”
“Out of the Woods” by Taylor Swift (2015).
“She lost him. But she found herself. And somehow that was everything.”
147 million views on YouTube. Full lyrics here. Also, see Taylor Swift shows us love in the 21st century.
“Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera (2002).
109 million views on YouTube since 2009. Full lyrics here.
“I am beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can’t bring me down
I am beautiful
In every single way …
“Yes, words can’t bring me down… Oh no.
So don’t you bring me down today.”
“Love Me” by Katy Perry (2013).
18 million views on YouTube. Full lyrics here.
“No, there’s no more questioning
I’ll be the one defining who I’m gonna be …
You’re gonna have to take a back seat
I know I have to love myself, the way I want you to. …”
“Miss Me More” by Kelsea Ballerini (2017).
6.1 million views on YouTube. Full lyrics here. Note her portrayal, quite common in music videos these days.
“I thought I’d miss you (when it ended)
I thought it hurt me (but it didn’t)
I thought I’d miss you
But I miss me more ….”
“Me” by Taylor Swift (April 2019).
238 million views in 3 months. She portrays a crazy lady with a big ego. Full lyrics here.
“I promise that you’ll never find another like me
I know that I’m a handful, baby, uh
I know I never think before I jump
And you’re the kind of guy the ladies want
(And there’s a lot of cool chicks out there)
I know that I went psycho on the phone
I never leave well enough alone
And trouble’s gonna follow where I go
(And there’s a lot of cool chicks out there)
But one of these things is not like the others
Like a rainbow with all of the colors
Baby doll, when it comes to a lover
I promise that you’ll never find another like
Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I’m the only one of me
Baby, that’s the fun of me.”
“Might Not Like Me” by Brynn Elliott (2018).
3 million views. She has great self-esteem! Full lyrics here.
“You broke up with me and for the life of me
I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong
I’m so sorry, I’m usually the first one
To admit that I did wrong
Get over yourself, it’s no big deal
If I run a little faster than you on the playground
Get over yourself, what’s your problem
What’s your problem?
[Chorus]
Well if you don’t like girls that are stronger than you
And if you don’t like girls that are faster than you
And if you don’t like girls that are smarter than you
Well then you might not like me
You might not like me
We had chemistry and you’re one that got away
And I’ll never forget you
You were beautiful, you were perfect as you were
And I didn’t want to fix you
Get over yourself, it’s no big deal
If I swim a little faster than you in the neighbor’s pool
Get over yourself, what’s your problem
What’s your problem?
Boy, lay down your pride
Wipe that tear from your eye
I’ll take you back, I’ll take you back
Boy, lay down your pride
Wipe that tear from your eye
I’ll take you back, I’ll take you back, boy.”
See tomorrow’s post about life for men in the new world
Science provides the data and pop stars provide advice for a time when Less sex for young men points to a new world.
Films show the new nature of “romance”
Films are mirrors on which we can more clearly see ourselves and our society. They provide the cheapest education available outside a public library.
- “Mockingjay” shows us a Revolution in Gender Roles. What’s the next revolution?
- A new hot trend from Hollywood: women hitting men.
- Recommendation: nine of the best American romantic films.
- Modern movies show the hidden truth about romance & marriage: they’re dying.
- Disturbing next steps in the gender revolution – films showing romance as women breaking men.
- Classic films show what marriage was. Facts show its death.
- Christian films show the feminist revolution’s victory.
For More Information
Ideas! For shopping ideas, see my recommended books and films at Amazon.
The key post describing America today: A new, dark picture of America’s future.
If you liked this post, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. See all posts about society and gender issues, about feminism, and especially these …
- The coming crash as men and women go their own way.
- Romance is dying. Intellectuals no longer find it funny.
- America’s men and women, alienated from our true selves.
- The coming crash of marriage: why, and what’s next.
- Millennial girls had a golden age. Gen Z’s inherit wreckage.
- America begins its post-marriage experiment.
- Becoming a post-marriage America: see the stories!
- Science tells us why the family is dying – And about the results.
- Women’s self-esteem: boosted to their self-destruction.
- Liberated women still need men. – Who knew?
Books to help us understand these great changes
- Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters
by Helen Smith (2013).
- Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think about Marrying
Mark Regnerus, professor of sociology at U Texas-Austin (2011).
- The War on Sex
by David M. Halperin and Trevor Hoppe (2017).
- Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy
by Mark Regnerus (2017). For more about this great book, see Cheap Sex is the Inconvenient Truth in the end of marriage and Misadventures of a young woman in modern America.
- Sociologist Lisa Wade spent five years studying the ‘hookup culture’ for her book American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus
(2017). Her conclusions are weird and disturbing.
by Helen Smith (2013).
Mark Regnerus, professor of sociology at U Texas-Austin (2011).
(2017). Her conclusions are weird and disturbing.
Korean pop (K-Pop) is a fusion of Western Pop and East Asian culture. See these music videos by popular girls groups to see how the feminist revolution has evolved in the East.
This is the hit group “TWICE” singing “OOH-AHH.” 296 million views since October 2015. See the lyrics in the subtitles. A familiar theme in western pop: girls value tingles above all. Jane Austin would be appalled, but not surprised.
Here is ITZY singing “Dalla Dalla.” 96 million views since February 2019. Another theme familiar to western pop fans: girls say they are beautiful, different, special, and unwilling to change for anyone. Disney Princesses around the world!
Signature line: “I love myself!”
Here is a more traditional ballad: TWICE singing “What is love?” 278 million views since April 2018.
Here are a few more fun K-Pop videos for your viewing pleasure.
Romance in the East.
(1) AOA sings “Excuse Me.” 26 million views since January 2017.
(2) TWICE singing “Signal.” 206 million views since May 2017.
(3) TWICE singing “Heart Shaker.” 256 million views since December 2017.
Larry, This time you’re not telling me anything I don’t know. None the less, it is so well presented. I never even liked Whitney Houston and can’t stand any of the others you presented. I despise them as much as their ‘music’.
Moral decay is another contributer to our nation’s demise.
Longtrail,
“Moral decay is another contributor to our nation’s demise.”
As a legacy of my radical leftist education (pol sci at Cornell in the 1970s), I seldom discuss morality. But even on the narrower grounds of utility, the consequences of 4th wave feminism might be horrific. A generation or more of blighted lives.
Who knows what’s behind all these “revolutions” in gender relations — is it our (boys and men) resignation which in turn allows the pendulum to reach the extreme or is it a result of our ‘latent’ resistance which in that turn whips up the force for change?
In ether case, we are to share the blame for this “new era.” Aren’t we?
As for the societal ‘transformation’ (as in away from honor, morals or even utility) — is this a natural state of it’s aging (I got scorned for a similar one before) or is this just a preview of who’s ‘time gonna come’?
Jako,
“In ether case, we are to share the blame for this “new era.” Aren’t we?”
It does not matter if it is either of those “cases”, or (imo, more likely) neither of them. This is a Republic, so we have the responsibility for whatever happens. When we are no longer responsible, then it will no longer be a Republic.
Larry,
How much time did you spend researching Youtube for various clips to use for this article?
Glad you are back and posting informative stuff as always.
Der Maiden,
“How much time did you spend researching Youtube for various clips to use for this article?”
Almost none. Many were from my iTunes collection, which was how I had noted this theme. The other three I heard on the car radio. The only research was pulling the lyrics and Youtube links.
But I had already done most of this. I’ve written about this trend in pop music during the past two years, attempting to understand what it meant. So I had most of the info in previous posts. This just repackages it, with what I think is a more insightful (i.e., than my previous attempts) analysis.
The gender “war” (or whatever we each choose to conceptualize it as) is one of the great nexus points in America’s cultural evolution, bringing together many of the themes I have written about during the past 16 years. This is one of those “tying everything together” posts. Unfortunately, these posts are of little interest to the mass audience. Most of my new posts get 1000 – 2000 hits in the first day. I doubt this will get 1000.
This suggests that I’m not packaging this in a way people find useful. Or perhaps they don’t like the message. Or just don’t want to hear it.
These are matters on the edge of the known, and so range from disturbing to terrifying. Not for everybody. But that’s what I focus the FM website on. I tend to abandon popular themes when everybody begins writing about them (that is, of course, bad business strategy).
Add this one too:
“Women’s liberation” has always been about liberation from men. This should surprise no one. Now that it’s played out to this point, fortunately, more and more men sre coming to see that they’re better off without modern women.
M Blanc,
You raise an important, fascinating – and almost totally ignored point! Radical feminists have long urged women to do without men, striking out to find their own nature. Mainstream women applauded. It never appears to have occured to either group that the large-scale changes in relations between men and women (esp in marriage) would induce men to do the same.
This is something I’ve been thinking about – as each goes their own way, which will do better? Who needs the other more? Much depends on this.